Saturday, February 25, 2012

Where Will My Life Take Me?

So that past few weeks have been a mix of productiveness and laziness. I wish I could say that I've been nothing but productive, both in my school work and in my fiber work (s), but sadly that isn't always the case.  Everyone needs a break sometimes, and mine have (sadly) been in the form of Facebook games.

But enough about that, what I really want to talk about today is my art and future. I am currently an art major, getting a double BFA in Painting and Drawing.  If I can get it to work out, I will graduate from Drawing in Spring of 2013 and Painting in Fall of 2013.  It's going to be A LOT of work, especially next semester (3 advanced studios in one semester....) but if art is truly my passion I know I can pull it off.

I know I have almost another 2 years of undergrad, but I'm already thinking about what's next, and frankly I am VERY scared.  I seriously cannot see myself doing anything.  Grad school would be very nice, as being in the art world it's hard to get anywhere without a Masters.  But that's not what's eating me right now.  What's really getting me down is feeling like I'm just throwing away money at undergrad right now.

Let me explain.  When I applied to KSU, I wanted to do Graphic Design.  That quickly changed within my first semester, when I decided I'd rather just paint, because I like traditional art better.  And then after my first year I went into this "I want to work for DISNEY!" mindset, that is before I found out everything they do is on computers now.  What I was really interested in was concept art and background painting, which is apparently primarily Photoshop now.  So that idea is out the window (for now). I'm not shunning Photoshop, in fact at one time I wanted to learn how to digitally paint, but I just don't like it enough to want to make a career out of it. More recently I have decided that what I really want to do is Illustration, and with that comes my most recent dilemma.  I feel like to really get into the Illustration world I need to have a degree in it, maybe I'm wrong, but having the words "degree in Illustration" on my resume would definitely help.  Sadly, KSU does not have an Illustration program.  See my dilemma now?

So I would like to go to grad school for Illustration, but programs for that are few and far between and many of them want previous knowledge of the subject.  This is why I am feeling like I am throwing away money right now, because there are TONS of undergrad degrees in Illustration all over the country and for the most part, that's all I'd need to get a job in it. However, I am 3 years into my degree right now and given the amount of money we've already shelved out, transferring and starting over isn't really an option.

So for now I guess I will continue to work towards my Painting and Drawing degree, both of which I really do enjoy.  I'm sorry for rambling, but this has been on my mind a lot recently and sometimes sharing it with the world and putting my thoughts into written words helps me think things over.

Anyone out there know anything about how I've been feeling lately?

I promise my next post will be more optimistic and art/knitting related! For now I will leave you with some pictures of my most recent drawings.



  1. Lisa, I completely understand the turmoil you're going through. I got my BA in Flute Performance in 2006 and found out, though I'd already really known for years, that finding an orchestral job is hard, hard work, and enjoying that kind of high-stress career is even harder. I did end up changing careers to become a pastry chef, and am very glad I did, but I've never for one second regretted my first degree. Even though I owe quite a lot in loans, I'm so grateful for everything I learned and the people I met during those years that it was entirely worth it. Hang in there: follow your bliss, and you'll find your way. :) Also, your drawings are stunning!!

  2. I'm totally with you on this, and I completely understand your frustration. Know that things will start to fall into place in time. It may take awhile to get there, but it will.

    Also, I love these drawings. They're incredible. :)

  3. I understand those feelings, too. Even when things in my life do go according to plan, I still find myself wondering if it's really what I want after all. I think it's natural to have seasons where you're really worried about what lies ahead, or where you're not quite satisfied with where you are.

    And your drawings are beautiful! They remind me of the ocean surface, how the colors and shapes are always shifting and changing.


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